So Aimless
by Psalm 136
Summary: John never thought about forever or eternity, or much further than what he would eat for dinner. When she finally came into his life, he found something he didn't think existed, and he'll hold onto her forever. JohnBobby friendship JohnOC Oneshot


**Author's Note: This is somewhat of an extension of Miniatus Vir. You might want the read the other to understand John and Emily's relationship and history. But if you want a little bit of Bobby and John friendship, this is a great fic for that.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Men or Emily Rachery. I do not own the song "Stout Heart" by Adam Overett, either.**

He was getting married. Him, of all people. He'd never considered himself the type of sap to go on about 'forever' or 'eternal'. She didn't ever pressure him into that kind of talk, knowing he would come to that decision on his own. But now, they were getting married, and he wasn't even nervous about the wedding. He was nervous about her choice in him. She'd said yes to him, but… he wondered if he would be a good husband for her.

Yes, John Allerdyce was doubting his ability to be a husband.

He knew he wasn't perfect. His demons still haunted him with their ghostly words of torment and pain. She, Emily Rachery, his beautiful, sexy fiancée, who had chosen to be his wife (he still couldn't believe it), was the only one who understood, who listened, who gave a crap about him when no one else did. She was the only one who ever saw him cry, the few times he did so. She knew him like the back of her hand, and knew exactly how to make him feel better. She protected him from himself.

In turn, John wanted to be the perfect husband for her. They fought constantly. He didn't think that would change, but he wanted to learn how to make up for all of his insecurities and shortcomings. He had no idea what had gotten into her to make her say yes when he had proposed almost a year ago. Everyday, he woke up and came down to breakfast, and she was still there with an empty spot beside her for him. Every night she kissed him and told him to sleep well. She still touched him and loved him.

John knew exactly how lucky he was when he looked into the mirror. He examined himself in his tuxedo (he looked like a PENGUIN), adjusting his vest and then glanced down at the table where he'd put his dark green bowtie. He eyed it, and then sighed. He would have to put it on sometime. He attempted to put it on, but wasn't really sure how it went. He struggled with it, eventually dropping it back onto the table with a growl. He didn't understand how something so little could piss him off so badly.

A knock came at the door, and his heart nearly stopped, thinking it was already time. He wasn't at all afraid of marrying Emily. He was so ready to be married and to settle down with her. Truthfully, he was more worried about the wedding night. Despite popular opinion and the rumor mill, he was still a virgin. He was a jerk, not a manwhore. He swallowed, and then faced the door.

"Uh, come in?" John asked, rather than stated, and the door opened to reveal his best man, Bobby. "Hey." He greeted, running his hand through his hair.

Bobby grinned. "Excited, John?" He noticed the bowtie on the table. "Here, let me give you a hand, man." He reached for it and then expertly tied it around his friend's neck. "How hot do we look?" He grinned, looking at their reflections in the mirror.

John shook his head. "You're an ass." He smiled slightly. "But thanks." He self-consciously adjusted it and smoothed down his coat. "How do I look?" He asked distractedly.

Bobby shrugged. "Eh, you look okay." He chuckled. "You look great. Has Emily ever seen you in a tux before?"

The pyromaniac considered the question, and then shook his head. "Nope. Pretty much jeans and a t-shirt, except for the rehearsal dinner. I had a nice shirt for that." He smirked at the memories, and then it faded into a serious look. He just didn't understand why he was so nervous to step in front of his friends and Emily's family dressed like a penguin. However, he was excited to see Emily in her dress. He was as giddy as a schoolboy because Emily had refused to let him see it before the wedding, and he was sure she looked so beautiful. She always did, in everything, no matter what she said.

"You okay?" Bobby asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Nervous… I guess." John glanced at Bobby. "Were you nervous before you married Marie?"

Bobby laughed. "I didn't sleep for three days before the wedding. I just kept thinking about how complicated everything would be, and if she was considering calling it off. I wondered if she would call it off simply because it wouldn't be conventional or traditional, due to her mutation. But just on a whim, because I knew she was thinking about it, I changed my vows and just told her that I wanted to be with her, and I was willing to sacrifice anything to do that."

John nodded, staring at himself in the mirror. He loved Emily, and he hadn't ever thought such love existed. His only priority was protecting her and fulfilling all of her needs. That's all he wanted to do for the rest of his life. She deserved the best care and the best of everything, and he knew he wasn't the best, but she wanted to be with him, so he would give her everything he had. If she was happy, then he was happy. He stood up a little straighter. He loved her so much.

"I can't believe she agreed to marry me." He grumbled, thinking of all the better choices that were out there. He was very critical of himself, and he felt so guilty about how much they fought, since it was usually his fault. He promised himself he would do better, and he would be the best husband that he could be.

"Well, you have to give the girl some credit." Bobby began lightly. "She wouldn't marry COMPLETE scum." He smiled innocently.

"That's cute." John sneered. "But seriously, man… Hell, tonight, I don't even know what to do. I'm actually nervous about having sex." He chuckled at the thought, but in reality… he knew the basic mechanics, but there was some unspoken pressure. It was sappy and poetic, but he wanted to please her with his body and his sexual performance. They had decided as a couple to not engage in anything sexual out of respect for each other, and she'd never even seen him naked. Oh, don't get him wrong. He was totally going to be okay with seeing her naked, but people thought that only girls were worried about their bodies. He'd spent almost the previous two months practically LIVING in the gym.

"I can't help you there, man." Bobby reminded John gently. He and Marie were unable to have sex, due to her mutation. She was learning to control it, but she couldn't control it for more than a half hour. He wanted to have a family so badly with her, to give her the children she craved. It killed him that, as a man, he could not give his wife the one thing that really mattered. They were talking about their options, but part of him wished that they could be a traditional couple. But none of that mattered in comparison to the fact they were together.

"It's okay." John replied. "I'm just nervous."

"You know what you're going to say?" Bobby asked.

"Yep." John smiled. "I know exactly what I'm going to tell her."

"Then let's go, it's almost time." Bobby guided his friend out of the room where John had been getting ready.

**XXX**

John had discovered early on in their relationship that when Emily was around, he was completely her slave. He was willing to do whatever she asked and help her in any way. He was extremely protective by nature, and that need to protect had been magnified when they had been held by the Friends of Humanity several years ago. He instinctively was attuned to her, and was completely aware of her when she was around.

But when he saw her come down that aisle, his heart stopped and the moment was frozen in time. The ceremony ahead of them was small and simple, but that moment seemed to drag on for years, and he didn't mind. She was so beautiful, with her hair falling down to her shoulders, slight waves rippling through her brown locks. A small nosegay was clasped in one of her hands that seemed to tremble. Tears glisten in her beautiful eyes that were locked on him, though her arm was around her father's.

"I love you, Emily." Her father whispered as he let her go. Mr. Rachery met John's eyes. "Take care of her."

John could only nod wordlessly as he met the gaze of his bride. His throat and mouth were completely dry, nervous to even touch her. She loved him. She wanted to be with him in the same way he wanted to be with her. She chose him to be her husband. She wanted to be his wife…. What the fuck? That couldn't be right.

He wasn't even listening to the preacher who Emily had known as a child as he spoke of the wonders of marriage and the trials they would come through together. All he could focus on was her. She was so beautiful that it almost ached to look at her, and she was his. His eyes flickered to the preacher who turned to him, asking for his vows.

"Emily… I spent hours trying to figure out what I could say to you. I'm not perfect. Most of the time, I don't even know why you chose me. But you did, so I'm promising you right now that I will stand by you through everything that comes our way. Everything I will do will be to better your life, with no thought to my own personal comfort. You are the only thing that matters in my life; without you, I would be nothing. I love you, Emily. I give myself to you, and I will protect you from all evil, comfort you through your tears, and be there to laugh with you in the good times." He smiled at her, tears pricking at his eyes and sliding down his face. He reached forward and took her hands, his thumbs caressing her knuckles.

The tears in Emily's eyes overflowed and fell down her face. She met John's gaze steadily as she began to speak her vows. "John, I love you so much. I don't want to live a day without you. You are part of who I am, part of my very soul. I love you, and I promise to comfort you, to help you survive your darkest nights, and to enrich every part of your life. Our life has never been easy, but I want to do what I can to ease the burdens on your shoulders. I love you, John Allerdyce." She slipped one of her hands out of John's grasp to wipe away her tears, though she was smiling.

"I now pronounce you man and wife. Mr. Allerdyce, you may kiss your bride."

John smiled at her, his eyes never leaving her face. He drew her close, one hand on the curve of her hip, the other entangling itself in her gorgeous hair. He dipped his head to kiss her lips gently, though he was sure his raging passion for her was communicated, as well as his fears for the night ahead. They drew away slowly, his hands dropping to find hers.

He grinned at her, and she responded. "Come on, lady." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "We're married, so let's tear it up."

Emily couldn't suppress the urge to roll her eyes, and did so, teasingly annoyed. He laughed merrily and put an arm around her as they walked back down the aisle, a married couple.

**XXX**

Bobby Drake grinned as he stood up, facing the crowd of people at the Allerdyce-Rachery reception. While the ceremony had been small, only their family and the X-Men, the guest list for the reception included the entire school. He accepted the microphone handed to him by the DJ the couple had hired.

"Hey everyone, I guess it's time for the speeches. As always, ladies first." He bowed dramatically to Alyssa Earnest as she stood up and took the mic Bobby offered her.

"Thanks, Bobby." Alyssa turned to where the bride and groom sat, Emily on John's lap, their arms around each other. "Oh man, you two are so cute." She gushed, giggling slightly. "Anyway, you two have embarked on a beautiful journey together. It won't be peaceful, you two know that. It won't be easy. Many people give up, saying it's too hard, or they weren't right for each other. I don't think I've ever seen a couple more suited for this road. You are both so stubborn when it comes to the other, and you are soulmates, but you knew that already." She laughed. "Anyway, to Emily and John." She raised her glass of sparkling cider.

Alyssa handed the microphone back to Bobby, who grinned again. "John, quite frankly, you're an idiot. Emily, you made a terrible choice." He smirked as the gathered people laughed. "But you're both so convinced that you love each other, and hey, that's okay with me. John, you are a great friend. We've been through so much together, and I don't think I've seen you happier. You've found the love of your life in Emily, and you couldn't have picked a better woman for you. Emily, take care of him for me." He gave the couple a smile. He was thankful that John would never spend another night alone and wracked by nightmares. He had a beautiful wife to take care of him and soothe him and protect him. "To the Allerdyces."

"To the Allerdyces." Came the collective response and clinking of glasses.

John leaned his head against Emily's neck, unable to get enough of her. "They gave good toasts, I think." He told her.

Emily leaned down and kissed his lips. "I think so, too, John." She smiled, wrapping her arms around him. "I love you."

"Hey, I love you too." He leaned his head back. "You want to have our first dance?"

"Sure." Emily giggled as they stood up.

The DJ accordingly changed the soft tune to the song chosen by the couple: Stout Heart by Adam Overett.

_Whenever you're scared, baby, I will be right there,_

_To walk you through, do whatever I can do._

_I will lead the way, and take your hand._

_Girl, I will step up and be, be your man._

John took one of her hands and rested his other hand on her waist as they slowly circled. Emily took a tiny step closer until they were completely touching. He smiled down at her, his heart beating a bit faster to see her smile in return. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against him, and John wished he could stop time so they could be there forever. Finally, they were together, and nothing could part them.

"I love you so much, Emily."

'_Cause I'd do anything for you._

_So you don't have to worry, I will be right there._

_I promise I will never, ever leave your side_

_And I will love you for the rest of my life._

"I love you too, John." She looked up at him.

John wrapped his arms around her and smiled. Even with their marriage, his past still wasn't completely gone. He was haunted by grief and guilt about his past actions. However, now that they were married, he knew she would never leave him. Emily was not one to take promises lightly. He would never leave her. He loved her too much. Things would be hard. That was to be expected from a couple like them. But he'd always love her.

_Whenever you're scared, baby, I will be right there._


End file.
